June 2011
72 posts
clientsfromhell:
Me: “I don’t think I’ll be able to work on the site today; my dog just died.”
Client: “What’s that?”
Me: “My dog?”
Client: “You can just use my computer, if you’d like.”
Me: “What? No, I need to go run an errand at the vet. My dog died.”
Client: “Oh! Hahahaha.”
Me: “…”
Client: “Sorry, I though DOG was just one of those techie acronyms you guys like to throw around. See...
“We’re a camera store in need of a new image, and we’ve noticed that a lot of...”
– (via clientsfromhell)
“You may form your super PAC and proceed.”
– The Federal Election Commission, approving a bid by “Colbert Report” host Stephen Colbert to set up a super PAC, allowing him to raise and spend unlimited amounts of money on the 2012 elections. (via officialssay)
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WatchWhy are my flights not like this?
“Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa....”
– Rep. Michele Bachmann, kicking off her presidential campaign in Waterloo, Iowa—and trying to make reference to American movie star John Wayne. But the John Wayne she was thinking of was from Winterset, Iowa, as the Washington Times notes. Serial killer John Wayne Gacy was from Waterloo.
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“Dark-hearted humanity critics always want to rave about how “brilliant” dolphins...”
– Chuck Klosterman on Rock VORP (via kohenari)
clientsfromhell:
Eight minutes before a speech I’ve written is to be presented at a fundraising event.
Client: “Hey, I was just reading this over and I realize that it doesn’t sound like me at all. I’m much more light hearted. Do you think you can add in a penis joke or two?”
kn1ghtmares asked: HAHA daniel i saw that picture from ipswich you posted
i'd just like to tell you that i do, in fact, know where that house is.
also you can read my poetry when we're at maryland (!)
i CaNt WaIt To SeE yOu <33333
i'd just like to tell you that i do, in fact, know where that house is.
also you can read my poetry when we're at maryland (!)
i CaNt WaIt To SeE yOu <33333
Is it Weird that I Like this Article? →
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Clients From Hell →
clientsfromhell:
Email correspondence with an older client: Client: “JUST SEND THE MOCKUPS TO JOLENE AND I WILL LOOK AT THEM WHEN I GET BACK NEXT TUESDAY.” Me: “Sure thing. Is everything OK over there? You seem like you’re yelling everything!” Client: “THESE DAMN PUERTO RICAN COMPUTERS. EVERYTHING IS IN BIG TPYE.
Me: “Try hitting the caps lock button, right next to the...
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Erotic Falconry →
Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.
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"Go the Fuck to Sleep" - Narrated by Samuel L.... →
Listening to this was easily one of the most epic experiences of my life. If you don’t listen to this, you should just die in a hole. Really.
It’s free, so just fucking do it.
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“Sarah Palin is qualified to be President of the United States.”
– Tim Pawlenty, during the GOP Debate in Hew Hampshire. Why is this man being considered?
